Monday, April 23, 2012

Of Love and Other Lies.




Good morning.

I just like to wonder and ask myself; when my time comes and I die quietly in my sleep, would anyone notice?

I mean, I wonder who exactly on this planet called earth I'm important to. I wonder who really does care about me/who I really care about.

I know some truths about myself; some uncomfortable things that I know would make the same people who tell me they love me daily run for the hills.

I'm not uncomfortable with said truths. Far from it...they are mine. I'm good with them. I just know that they (people) would be.

And you know what the funniest part is?

The same people who I know would be uncomfortable with my truths have theirs too. In a lot of cases - a lot worse than mine.

So what are we talking about? I think life would be more interesting if we could all be real for a moment. Be honest with ourselves. But that's not gonna happen. So I don't care.

What I'm talking about is this: It's the ones you say you love you hurt the most and vice versa - simply because you've let them in and put them somewhere you have not allowed anyone else be. So automatically, because you hold them there you expect them to hold you dear. But we forget that we choose who we love. WE CANNOT CHOOSE THE ONES WHO LOVE US.







Unfortunate but true.


So why am I rambling? I just believe that sometimes; or rather ALL the time truth is better. Because more often that not; people have no idea what they mean when they say all the stuff they say. And I think that's really sad.

A 'I hate you' does me more good than a confused 'I love you'...because I understand clearly what 'I hate you' means or might mean; and I also want to believe that whoever tells you they hate you know what they're saying. 'Love' on the other hand has been so abused that I'm sure even the words themselves have no idea what they mean. I mean.


Now don't get it confused; I'm fully aware that in the midst of all the lies and confusion and stuff there are some few and rare people who really and genuinely care for you; just like I genuinely care for some people - what I need you to understand is...those people won't tell you they love you all the time. In fact, they might never say it to you.

They would just allow their actions speak for them, because they know too that words are...

I'm just rambling.


Thursday, April 5, 2012

The NaijaStories Anthology (A book to own)



In case y'all missed that memo - I have become a published author. That's right!

In the published Naija Stories Anthology - me and twenty nine other talented writers massage your palate with incredibly edible stories of Nigeria as we see it. Read the official press release below:







NAIJA STORIES is the leading community for Nigerian writers and book lovers, combining elements of a writing critique website and a social networking site. I came across this community of Nigerian writers early this year and I am delighted to say that the stories and articles published on this site has imparted knowledge and improved my vocabulary and writing skills. When i decided to start a blog, i knew i loved to write and wanted to motivate people with my articles which is going on pretty well; but since I became a member of this community, writing has never been more fun and more interesting. It's like you have a team and family where you belong and have people review your work and help you improve everyday.

Of Tears and Kisses, Heroes and Villains is Volume 1 of the ‘Best of NaijaStories’ series. The 30 stories featured in this anthology were all originally published on naijastories.com between March 2010 and March 2011. This is a book you will love to have as a Nigerian because it features our everyday life, precepts fom our environment, culture, government and everything you can think of about Naija.

Copy and paste the link to find out more: http://www.naijastories.com/2012/03/the-naijastories-anthology-goes-on-sale-launches-march-27/

If you live in Nigeria and want the book delivered in PDF to your inbox, please contact admin@naijastories.com for payment details (via Zenith Bank and GTBank).

REVIEWS - READ what people have to say about this book
These are stories about us or about our neighbours or something we’ve encountered in the news. They are what our friends tell us, their pain and joy, their passion and rage, their yearning and their cry against injustice. I enjoyed lots of the stories not just because of their simplicity and brevity but also for freshness they bring to storytelling and public discourse. – Sylva Nze Ifedigbo. (Author, The Funeral Did Not End)

Here we are, with our abortions, our bereavement, our lust, our petty showdowns, our pederasts, our In-Law wahala, our problems chatting up girls in the diaspora, our memories of childhood, our fights, our incest, our love, our examination stress, our metafictional accounts, our encounters with university campus cults, our broken families, our… well, you get the idea. We rob banks, but we also eat salty beans to show our children we love them. – Tade Thompson (Writer/Editor)

These short stories are not constrained by the need to attain fame. They all are, first of all, good works written with sharp perspectives that are related to various societal issues. There is a unique allure in every story. They have not been sifted through a Western colander. Support this anthology and show that there is a worthiness of effort in putting it together. This anthology is indeed the birth of writers that have newly been empowered. Go get a copy for yourself. – Joseph Omotayo (Blogger/Book Critic)


Please get your copies and send your reviews!

We're Moving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, February 10, 2012

Good Morning!

I just wanted to tell you guys...

Good Morning!

I swear it feels like a really great year - we are going to do some incredible things together. God willing.

Its funny trying new things - and even though the experience might sometimes be rough...I always see new challenges as another opportunity to grow.

Imagine me saying 'good morning' at after ten...

GOOD MORNIKT!!!!!!!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Romantic Writers of West Africa December Book Bonanza



Just so you know, I am a member of the above association.

Yes I know; isn't it...wonderful?!

Anyways, these wonderful people have come together to give you; the reader an incredible Christmas package - one you will not forget in a hurry.

How to get involved? Just click on the link and follow the instructions!!!!

http://rwowa.wordpress.com/2011/12/01/december-book-bonanza/

We await you!!!!!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

DMX




I have to be honest. I love DMX.

And I'm not saying 'no homo'. Make whatever you will of that.

Of course, you know I mean DMX the rapper. His distinct voice, that dog like growl, the way he puts his opinions down...those are a bit of the things that make him unique.

Also...let's not forget the former aptitude for jail term and legal trouble...having spent most of the last five years or so (I think) going from one jail into another. But that's not why I'm writing this.

A lot of people describe DMX as 'confused' or 'battled by demons (aren't we all)' and a few other colorful monikers over the years...due to his lyrics...album art and even aggresive nature. And while I agree with some of the tags, I feel like people miss the point.

My personal reason why DMX remains one of my top 5 rappers dead or live is because he's so introspective....thoughtful and lucid.

Anyone who knows me and reads this blog would know those are; at least, qualities we share.

A lot of DMX's lines, songs and lyrics inspire me, but probably my greatest reference to his work would be a line in the seventh track on his first album...It's Dark and Hell Is Hot - the track titled 'Let Me Fly'.

The lyrics I'm talking go thus:

be like what of his birth
Was a miscarriage and I never existed
Have I given something that have been taken away you
would of missed it
Didn't know, did I persisted?
It was the call of the wild
I'm here to say what's in my heart, and you call it a style
Don't put it in the cage, don't mistreat it
You say you hunger for knowledge, here it is eat it
Another song completed is another thought captured


I keep thinking; mostly of those lines "What if his birth/was a miscarriage/and he never existed/has he given something that if taken away/you'd have missed it/"

Has he?

Have I?

Ultimately I believe in God; which means I believe in a grand design and all that stuff.

Which means I am concerned with my significance; if any.

Do I have any purpose? Am I fulfilling my purpose?

If I did not exist; would you miss me?

IF YOU did not exist; would anyone miss you?

Some Big Mac/KFC largest-bucket size food for thought...


Sunday, December 4, 2011

Sunday.

Th.ing is...I'm just sitting here wondering what to write.

No. That's not right.

I'm sitting here writing. I'm just wondering if what I'm writing is something you would like to read.
As much as this is some kind of diary for me, I must also realize that I can't just put everything out there. Things like this/that have a way of coming back to take a huge bite out of one's behind.

So...what am I rambling about now?

I don't know. I feel like I'm at a crossroads...which is usually the state of things with me. It's strange that sometimes I see where I'm headed so clearly...and then sometimes I see NOTHING. I start to wonder if I know what I'm doing...I start feeling these feelings of inadequacy - feelings of self-doubt and so on.

I start to ask myself - what if I'm wrong?

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Honest Love Letter




Dear Owner,
I'm so lucky I'm your BlackBerry!

You hold me with both hands as gently as you can.

You ensure that I am always with you.

If I fall you are always afraid of me hurting myself. I always have your undivided attention, you get upset if others disturb our time together.

You never forget me in a taxi & you won't give me to just anyone unlike my old friends Nokia, Sony and Samsung that you would proudly just hand over.

When you eat, I'm beside you. When you're on the toilet seat, I'm with you. When you're sleeping, my head is by your pillow.

When I scream, you rush and pick me like an egg.

When I feel low, you make every effort to recharge my battery. When I am hungry, you fill me with airtime. You buy me all sorts of clothes to cover my precious skin. And if I make you feel like a cowboy you strap me to your waist or jeans.

Every month you ensure that you set aside the money, to buy me bundles (of love).

You upgraded to me from my friends Nokia, Sony and Samsung; and then upgraded me to a Curve, Bold & Torch.

You rush home from work and spend quality time with me; not really bothered to make a conversation with those at home.

You sit up with me for hours and smile at me, yet I have no human emotions; sometimes I make you laugh; people think you are mad. I watch your wife/hubby or your lovers who envy our time together.

But dear, I appeal to you.

Your life is wasted because of me. Take some time, leave me aside and sort out issues that are important to you because I may love you as much as you do love me but I'm just a blackberry, nothing more!.

Kind Pings,
Your BlackBerry.







Copied from Raymond Elenwoke's FB status

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Amy Winehouse. Life & Death.






This post is premature. I agree.

But better late than never...right?

Amy Winehouse died on my birthday. Yep. That's right.

July 23rd.

Cause of death was inconclusive...that is; till a few minutes/hours ago.
According to YahooNews...she died of alcohol poisoning. They said her body contained five times...or read the more accurate quote " the level in her blood put her more than five times over the legal drunk-driving limit".



Now I was a fan of her music...but not a fan of the fact that she flaunted the fact that she was an addict in some very strong senses of the word. Now a lot of people are going to go ballistic on me for what I just said...but I really don't give a hoot..BECAUSE I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to share my opinions. That's why it's MY BLOG. You don't have to like it. Go and write yours.

Now typically, the day she died, a lot of people got emotional and angry and judgemental. Fine, it's wrong to judge. NOBODY has the right to judge another person...not EVEN the people who are names as judges. You don't have the right. Pure and simple. Are you any better?





But I also believe in reality. And reality, in AMy's case was: she was an addict. And she was proud of it. You don't have to believe me. Just listen to that 'hit' single Rehab. and the come back and share what you learnt.

We all have demons. But the thing that annoys me about a lot of us is that in the bid of trying to justify our bullshit we come up with that phrase Tuface made popular 'Nobody Holy Pass'. SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Pardon my french.

This is what I'm saying. The fact that you/we shouldn't judge does not mean we should not call a spade a spade. Just because you steal and I'm a porn addict does not mean I'm better than you...neither does it mean stealing is more heinous a crime than being addicted to porn..so why glorify it???

That phrase 'Nobody Holy Pass' annoys the shit out of me...because I've seen a lot of people keep quiet over stuff they know to be wrong because of it. My opinion. I drink raw spirits...I like drinking raw spirits...but I KNOW It's not good for me, and so therefore I'm fighting a winning war to stop. But in the meantime...should I keep quiet about it?




I love Amy Winehouse. I miss her. I think she was beautiful...in mind and body. Her voice was a honest and sincere one...and I have been a fan since I heard rehab...NOT because I particularly care about the song, but it was the singing that did it for me. And of course, It does not hurt that she shares birthdays with my favorite rapper (a little trivia for y'all!).





I miss her...and I hope she finds peace in death.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Serenity; Or Something Close.

it's easier for me to be depressed than happy. Sad but true.

A lot of the decisions I made in the past come back to haunt me around this time of the year. It also doesn't help that whatever happened to her happened around now.

But all that is another story. The one I want to tell now is my search for peace.

Life sucks...in the worst of ways. That's true.

Life is a beautiful experience. That's true too.

A lot of times...most of the worst times/experiences in my life are based on or around people. The kind of people I choose to surround myself with.

They always said 'show me your friends and i'll tell you who you are"..and this true to some extent. What they forget to take into consideration is...what about a man without friends?

They also say not to expect so much of people...that eventually you'll just be saddened. But how do you really and truly love someone and not expect so much of them?
'To he whom much is giving, much is expected' that's true too!

Do you see my dilemma?

It would seem as though life is full of contradictions and so on. It would seem as though everything John Milton said about God in that movie 'The Devil's Advocate' was true. But as someone once thought me to think...

"believe that...and you'll believe ANYTHING. I think so too.

Love hurts. Unrequited love is the most painful torment a heart can go through...I think.
And when then receptacle of those emotions doesn't even notice you...or even know you exist...or doesn't care about you one way or the other...

That's the 'fate worse than death' I hear tell of.

How do you heal?

Not the easiest thing I tell you.

But...it has to be done.

So to you...my ex-sweet(s)...I'm moving on. It does hurt; because we shared something I'm sure I cannot find with any other person (there's only one you after all)...but I have to go or I'll die. Seriously.

Don't get it twisted though...I'll always cherish does memories. Always. And maybe when we run into each other at a party...a show...on tv...we'll smile and hug...each ask how the other's doing. And then go our separate ways because you came with your crew and I came with mine.

Ah. Don't even show the new guy off to me. I'm not sure I can handle that yet. But if you have to...do it gently, okay? Whatever else you think I am...I'm human first.


.....yeah.

I won't look back this time. I promise.

No matter what. This time, God helping me...it's for keeps. For real.

Holla.

A Sign Of The Times.

Things don' change.

That's the name of a track submitted to me by a Nigerian artist for review and polishing. I felt flattered...but that's not what this is about.

I just thought it...well, interesting that just after this great country of ours became 51years old...it's still as developed as a nine year old. It's just...well..

Inspiring.

Some writer wrote a piece on Lagos state..about how we live fake lives and are too concerned about appearances and not what really counts.
How it's easier than it looks to bring a spa to Nigeria..and harder than it looks to build a transformer; how there are tons of cars but the roads are something else; how we all use the latest phones but don't have access to 24hr electricity. Or words to that effect.

Well. I know it is stale news and what not...but honestly it saddens and depresses me when it seems as though someone has to come from somewhere and paint a morbid picture of our reality for us. I know..my people are pretty absorbent, they have to move on else lose their minds in this insanity of a life...but for HOW LONG?! That is the question.

Will things ever change? That...is yet another one.

I don't know. But I do know this: till we get tired of things, they have NO reason to change. That's a fact. I should be one to talk. What am I doing about it?!

Shebi I don blog now. That's something. And I'm telling that artist that his work is the best I've heard in a while. That he should keep going; he'll get there.

The NY Times reporter ended by telling a story about a visit he paid to a Nigerian beach and a man approached them to ask for payment..as though the beach was his; not nigeria's.

Well, I think it's time to take our beach back.

At least I wrote this. What are you going to do?

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING




Wow.

I am being challenged within an inch of my creativity.

I'm reading a book right now; Gadsby, a 5000 thousand word book; a book written in 1939 by a gentleman named Ernest Vincent Wright. It's a short story or novella; whichever one applies, and the most incredible, mouth-hanging-open, jaw-dropping, stunning part of the whole story is...HE WROTE THE ENTIRE THING WITHOUT USING THE LETTER 'E'.

Of course, the letter pops up a few times but ONLY in the introduction; which explains how and why he did it. The man actually tied down the letter 'e' on his traditional typewriter so that the letter would not pop up mistakenly.

This art is called 'lipogramming'...under the larger umbrella of 'constrained writing'.

I'm impressed.

And I'm challenged.




Anybody who follows my writing would have observed that I try to do new things; not conform to any law or structure or form of writing...and therefore I am now inspired and challenged to create my own lipogram/constrained writing opus.

I am going to pursue this challenge/goal I have set for myself; and hopefully inspire others to also try and reach farther than they ever thought possible. Because you see, of what use is living if we refuse to leave our conform/comfort zones?

I would also like to think that this sums up my life; doing/trying new things...always trying to reach farther than I did the last time. Of course; with God's help.

You never know till you try. Aim for the next gallaxy. If you miss, you'll end up in THIS gallaxy, but amongst it's stars. That's what I believe.




What do you believe?

Monday, September 26, 2011

ALIVE II





IT IS AMAZING TO THINK THAT DESPITE EVERYTHING I'VE DONE..GOD STILL KEEPS ME ALIVE.

I hope that does not sound cocky. I'm just grateful for the privilege.

Just like everyone else...if I count the number of 'close shaves' I've had (and I'm not talking about those ones involving overskilled barbers), I should be hairless by now. Real.

But seriously...God is faithful. I just want to say that.

A lot of times I feel dead...especially when I've used enough barbiturates to drown out the noise of a stampeding herd of elephants. I'm floating..right, but I still feel so connected to everything. And then it all shuts out...and all I hear is a pleasant buzzing sound.

Sometimes...I just want to escape.

And too many times...to do that, I do some really thoughtless things.

But I did not come here today to depress you or make you feel sorry for me. I hate pity. As far as I'm concerned, it's the weakest and lamest emotion in existence. Moving on...

So i was saying...I'm alive today because God is.

I'm no better than the countless number of people who die everyday...and it's not like they offended God or nothing like that. These things just are. And like I said above; I'm grateful.

I remember Bruce Almighty; Jim Carey. At the end after he had been hit by a truck and woke up in the hospital. I remember what the doctor said;

"Bruce? Bruce? You're lucky to be alive, man. Someone up there must like you." Or words to that effect.

Have you ever felt like that?

And did you ever stop; I mean, just take a moment to appreciate that person who just 'likes' you...for no reason at all?

And apart from just thanking Him...did you ever think to try and find out excatly WHY He still keeps you around, despite it all?

I'm grateful (I know; i'm trying to get you to like the word), because slowly but surely and more definitely, I'm watching my dreams...dreams as old as I am; dreams older than I am actually become reality.

All because HE choose to keep me alive.

Do you live a life of purpose? Do you live a life of service?

Why are you...ALIVE?

Monday, September 19, 2011

ON RAPE AND OTHER 'IRRELEVANT' ISSUES...



I know. Now someone wants to kick my head in because I dared call rape an 'irrelevant' issue. Why not? Can I not say what I like?

I mean...a woman can blame a fellow woman for being raped and I cannot say rape is irrelevant? Get real.

After all...if the governor of Abia State and the ABSU counsellor said it was all lies (despite the video and reactions)..if they could be so high-handed about it, why can I not say some stupid shit?

The ABSU counsellor actually said the students are NOT his. Smart man. Bet he's one of those men who actually use 90% of their brain capacity; and therefore knows every student of his school by sight, name AND matric number.

Why ABSU of all schools?!?!

In case you just fell from MARS, the 'rape' I'm talking about would be the August rape of a woman by five 'students' of Abia State University, Nigeria...who had the guts to record and release the video online.

For details: http://www.sugabellyrocks.com/2011/09/i-am-calling-human-flesh-search.html?m=1

After all...I'm a man and rape does not affect me. Unfortunately, as retarded as I am, I have conveniently forgotten that I have a sister.

Oops, sorry. Several sisters. Sisters I love so much. Like Gretel. And Abby. And Chinwe. And Uche. And Bimpe. And Bola. And...so many others.

Wetin concern me? Na me say make dem miswaka ni?!

Abegi jo!!!!!

I just realised that people are incredibly daftly creative (that would be an oxymoron for intelligently retarded)...like a great governor saying such a saddening thing is the work of his 'political detractors'. How could he have thought that up? I would think that his political detractors would think rape is a small fry for bringing down a governor...or are the bomb blasts and all that other 'creative' stuff only reserved for the president?

I'm just saying.

And all those people like me...wey ovasabi (over mumu actually), talking all sorts of nonsense on twitter and other 'social networks'...I just remember say animals plenty wey look like human beings. In the words of Fela...'animal in human skin'.

I am one of those people who think rape is boring. I mean...why force someone to give something to you if you can simply ask for it?

But of course...I'm not into domination (except it's dominating my laziness) so therefore I really can't judge people by what gets them off. But if what gets you off is against/threatens someone else's safety, isn't there/shouldn't there be some sort of law against that?

But again, what do I know? I'm just a retarded writer who does not care about issues until they directly affect him.

Shout out to all you fellow retards out there. May you not learn the worst way that you need to smarten the fuck up or shut the fuck down.

Monday, August 29, 2011

JESUS IN MY BOAT


I’m a sinner; a liar and a thief
Matter of fact the truth is I’m a hypocrite
I do whatever I want to; knowing the opposite is right,
But I do it anyway, and don’t feel contrite.

Yeah I pray; when I remembered to that is,
And I always prayed only for the things I need
Seriously, who gives a hoot about world peace?
If I can’t make money from it, definitely not me!

I stole money from friends, relatives even enemies
If you weren’t useful you couldn’t be a ‘friend’ to me
When I smiled at you, it was for my advantage
Never did no favors if I could see nothing to gain

Was ‘friends’ with prostitutes but not the Jesus way,
But because the sex was cheaper that way
And really every time I did it I felt so grey
But I had smothered my conscience, it had nothing to say

I embraced envy, jealousy, greed and strife
Lust; sleeping with her though she was not my wife
Lost; I wandered back and forth in the rain
Find the way home I would, and then intentionally get lost again


Went to church; never did that because of the girls,
But because of the words the pastor said
But the more I went the lonelier I became
Left adrift in my sea of sin and shame

Tossed back and forth; because I had no cause
No purpose; seemed to me I was cursed
The storm got worse, the rain slashed fiercely down
Suicide became an option; since I was going to drown

Then I raised my voice and screamed for help
Praying to be delivered from the depths of hell
For my life boat just to make it over the next swell
For anything at all that would give me rest

It did come, but not at all what you’d expect
No flashing lights or sirens, no special effects
It did not even bother to announcing itself to me
I just suddenly found that all was still

Around me there was a calming presence, sure and true
Did not feel like anything I knew, through and through
I said ‘thanks’ and leaned back, to enjoy again
I saw the pain in His eyes and He began to leave

“Don’t go! I still need you around;
“The storm will come again; how will I make it to ground?”
He smiled. ‘It’s your choice really. Ask me to stay and I will;
Just don’t struggle with me for control of the wheel.”

This is a message for me as much as for you,
Nothing gives peace like Jesus I know that to be true
So when I find myself stuck; with my life afloat
I know its ‘cos I don’t have Jesus in my boat.


,

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Hansel and ...

Dark clouds in the morning don’t always mean rain

It may mean the sun just wasn’t up early today

Because it’s hard to keep shinning when people complain

When people refuse to see all you illuminate


You bring warmth; all they feel is heat

You bring honesty; they say you should be more discreet

It’s really lonely being you sometimes

They can’t see how much of an effort it takes to smile

Don’t worry; forget the cliche, it’ll all be fine

Through the good and bad; keep your hand in mine

Maybe this ‘evil stepmother’ of a life let you out

But be sure I’m here holding your hand; no doubt

Sometimes there may be no breadcrumbs in sight

And the little left all swallowed up by night

But be sure; I’m here holding on to what you have

You can smile; we’ll get home no matter where we are

Have your back…always.

written for the usual suspect

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Christmas Blues

I have a small idea how it feels to be sidelined from something you created. I mean...you introduce two people to each other...and then they hit it off and you gradually fade into the background...

I know...i know; sometimes your purpose is just to introduce two people and you MOVE ON while they stay together...but sometimes, the human us can be really unreasonable.

Anyways...i'm talking about the reason why we hear all those Christmas songs at night now...why there are glittering lights like everywhere...lights that look curiously like winking fireflies, looking really fly and stuff. I'm talking about Christmas & Christ.

Now...in my humble uninformed opinion, being an atheist and celebrating Christmas is like being a man and missing your menstral period; absolutely absurd. What the hell would that be classified as; mild insanity or total complete kolo?!?!?!

Do you think it is fair...with all the bullshit the western world is/keeps propagating as 'the spirit of Christmas'? Which kain yeye spirit be that one...ogbanje or mammi water?!?! Nuts!!!

I mean...if you do not believe in it..don't knock it. Respect the people who believe in it...respect them enough to leave it alone.

Bottom line; you do not believe in the birth of a baby sent to redeem the world; Christmas is NOT for you.

MERRY BIRTH-OF-CHRIST!!!!!!!

Monday, December 20, 2010

ALONE

I have been neglecting my readers...my responsibilities. No excuses. I have just been going through a rough patch.

You know how it is when you gas yourself up into believing someone or some people love you just because you love them and take great pains to see that they know you do...only to find that as far as they're concerned, you're just another means to an end.

That sucks.

Particularly since all the signs are there...YOU refused to pay attention to them....so as a result you only see what you WANT to see...not necessarily what is the truth.

I campaign that 'just because someone does not love you the way you want them to does not mean they do not love you', but then i also believe in showing people you care about that you care...don't leave them guessing. It's just not fair!

And i imagine that after i die a lot of people would be giving accolades about how much i mattered to them and all that jack...and i probably would be chilling with Lord Jesus (i seriously pray) looking down with an incredulous look on my face like...and He would say...'YOU DIDN'T KNOW, ABI?'
In case you didn't know...He speaks broken too.

I know it ultimately does not matter whether people appreciate you or not...just keep being you; i mean look at the life of Jesus...but damn, it does get to you sometimes no matter how thick your skin is. And sometimes, you just want to give up...just lie down and die...just ....GO.

But you can't. So you bear up under the pressure...plant your feet firmly and MOVE ON. And always remember to show love to everyone...even if they don't love you back.

To all my fans...thanks for being there. I love you!!!!!

And yeah...I'M BACK.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

9ICE VS. RUGGEDMAN: THE ART OF THE BATTLE PART II

For the sake of the public, it is important to note that for EVERY competition; official or otherwise, there are rules; written or unwritten and the battle is no exception. Even the world has unwritten rules, else it would all be chaos.

Now first all, before we go any deeper it is important to recognize and applaud the fact that whatever his reasons were 9ice went on record to take things further, just as it is important to recognize the fact that whatever his reasons were, Ruggedman responded. It is considered ‘unhiphop’ to ignore a diss record, except you’re bigger than the art (as in cases of players like Jay-Z & P. Diddy for example). Now let us proceed.

If you’re going to battle someone it was be clear from the get go that every part of your armaments must be on point. You don’t go for war wearing an agbada/dashiki; you go loaded for bear! As a result, on production/choice of beats, the 9ice camp wins hands down. The ‘Talk I Am Listening’ beat sounds like ‘Ether’…a rousing beat, heavy horns interjected with the sound of a bottle breaking. The ‘9ice The Ingrate’ beat on the other hand sounds like a party/club joint; one of those ‘dance tracks’ Ruggedman is so famous for. Trying to kill two birds (battle and make people dance) with one stone does not always work, as Rugged should have learned on that his 'Banging' track. And besides, the beat sounds curiously like the beat of that old diss record from Ruggedman himself; ‘Big Bros’. What happened? Did they run out of producers?

Another minus for the Ingrate track is the fact that Chinaydu sounds muffled and unclear; in other words it would be difficult for a layman to hear or make sense of what he is saying. Add that to the fact that Seriki spits in Yoruba, and that he states his case clearly and succinctly in a verse of 16bars while it takes Chinaydu three verses to get it all off his chest, it’s clear who the mass appeal is with.

The first thing to know about a battle is; no matter how dirty it gets it should be kept clean i.e., it is between the contenders, no family members or friends are normally mentioned or brought in play unless it is done in a way to cast the opponent in a bad light (listen to Canibus’ LL Cool J battle track, Second Round Knockout). Such a thing could have far reaching consequences, e.g. Eminem getting involved in the G-Unit/Murder Inc. beef because Ja Rule mentioned his daughter Hallie’s name on a record (‘your mother’s a crackhead/your wife is a nut/what do you think Hallie’s gonna be/when she grows up?’), or Jay-Z’s mum telling him to apologise to Nas for bringing up his baby mama’s name in a disrespectful manner, even though he had an affair with her, thereby embarrassing himself. Even some freestyle battles even have rules of no cursing; in other words, you use foul language you’re disqualified and the other guy wins by default.

Therefore, it must be said that Chinaydu’s repeated hammering of Toni Payne and Zion (9ice’s estranged wife and son respectively) is in bad taste. For the record, 9ice did not say anything disrespectful about Rugged BEFORE he leaked their phone conversation, and despite all her constant Facebook and now tweet rants; he never bothered to respond to Toni either. So one must wonder; is the Ruggedy camp trying to curry favor from Toni and her son?

Unfortunately Chinaydu does not stop there. He also goes as far as suggesting that 9ice’s mum abandoned him when he was just eight months old and his father sent him off to leave with his grandma because he suspected her of infidelity. That was obviously in response to 9ice’s calling Ruggedman a bastard on the outro of the ‘Talk I am Listening’ record, so maybe all’s fair in love and war, but to actually mention his father, mother and grandma…is taking it too far. Even MODE9, in his lyrical assassination of Rugged never mentioned his (Rugged’s) parentage or family ties.

Another thing about battles is facts; you JUST HAVE TO GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT. On the opening bars of his verse, Seriki spits ‘Seriki bu Rugged/e le ni pe ko nice/awon kan lo oun na bo/to fi rise/I’m a gentleman/I’m a gangster/I no be Ruggedman/wey dey straff im dancers/’ meaning ‘Seriki disses Rugged/you might think it’s not nice/he also dissed some people to rise/I’m a gentleman/I’m a gangster/I am not Ruggedman/who sleeps with his dancers/’, alluding to the aforementioned ‘Ehen’ track that unquestionably shot Ruggedman to fame, and his reputation for sleeping with his dancers.
Even Chinaydu agrees with the statement, shown in his spitting in response ‘Rugged straffs dancers/perhaps/but im na single chap/you try am too/your marriage collapse/’. Maybe Rugged’s affairs with his dancers are not a big deal as Chinaydu says, but he's supposed to be a professional. And besides, could anyone tell me, on or off record, where they heard Toni Payne accuse 9ice of infidelity?

Before that, Chinaydu states ‘Hey 9ice, you must be out of your mind to think Ruggedy baba, the man that brought you up in this industry would stoop low to exchange childish words with you. For what? Stop being a coward. Say what your problem is or shut up. Face your music, try and fix your broken marriage.’

Hm. I know of no record, private or otherwise, that says that 9ice owes his meteoric rise in the music industry to Ruggedman, neither would I go as far as to call 9ice (who actually spoke on his diss record for Ruggedman as opposed to Rugged who did not say a word) a coward. And why would 9ice want to fix his former marriage when he moved for separation? Bad advice.

On the other hand, it is common knowledge that Ruggedman’s arguably largest hit record, Ruggedy Baba owes its success to the presence of 9ice on the hook, the same way it is common knowledge that for someone who champions rapping in the mother tongue, Ruggedman hardly does it but for a smattering of pidgin every now and then in his lyrics, and since when did pidgin English become ‘the mother tongue’?

Anyways, Seriki mentions this in the lines ‘kilode to bite/finger to feed e/the same person/to bless beat e/eni tio je oun lo tun ko chorus hit e.’ meaning ‘why did you bite the finger that fed you/the same person/who blessed your beat/and also sang the chorus to your hit/’. Now, that’s on point.

No to sound like a hater; Chinaydu does have his points as well. On the third and fourth bars of the second verse he spits, ‘your so-called street credibility’s a scam/you used up all the Yoruba adages you can/’. That remains to be seen, as the Tradition album does sound like 9ice was trying hard to put down those lyrics that had us feening for Gongo Aso. Chinaydu goes on to lash out; ‘you couldn’t spell your name right/you need to get a life/you couldn’t keep it tight/you couldn’t even keep your wife’/ alluding to the fact that the ‘9ice’ name should actually be pronounced ‘N-I-N-E-I-C-E’ and not ‘N-I-C-E’, and the ‘couldn’t keep it tight’ probably refers to the fact that there would indeed seem to be a steady decline in the quality of 9ice’s music. But the last line ‘you couldn’t even keep your wife’ spoils everything, in that 9ice allegedly asked to be free from the marriage, so why would he want to keep his wife?

Finally Chinaydu; in a direct response to 9ice asking about T-Boy, an artist(?) who was with Ruggedman back in the day; asks; ‘where is Cabasa? Where is Ajasa? Jahbless? 2Phat?’ and other members of the Coded Tunes clique after saying at the beginning all those guys had been used and dumped by 9ice. Cabasa still handled the bulk of the production on ‘Tradition’; he sang the hook to Ajasa's largest hit till date; Le Fe Nu So; worked on a song with 2phat (unconfirmed), so what does Chinaydu mean with ‘used and dumped’?

I have to admit though, I like the ending. After Chinaydu’s rant, a comical voice comes on and sings ‘Abolore my son/I sent you to school/you don’t know how to spell your name/’ That one had me in stitches for minutes, because as mentioned above, NICE is not spelt ‘9ice’. That’s NINE-ICE.

And the end of the day, it’s still clear who is on top of the verbal battle so far. Streets cannot wait for the ‘Alapomeji’ response…and one wonders, with the Ruggedy camp seemingly having used up all their ammo in their first salvo and still coming short despite all that, what will they do when the Alapomeji general decides to respond?

Time will tell.

Monday, October 4, 2010

9ICE vs. RUGGEDMAN: THE ART OF THE BATTLE

9ICE versus RUGGEDMAN: THE ART OF THE BATTLE

One element that can never be taken away from rap; Hip Hop music is the battle. This is the part of the art in which an emcee (or a dj or b boy or graffiti artist/bomber for that matter) steps up and goes against a worthy or not-so-worthy opponent for respect and; as in the case of smarter artists like Jay-Z and Nas; for the art and the cash.

There have been several battles/beefs in rap, most of which ended well (Kool Mo Dee vs. Love Bug Starsky, KRS One vs. Nelly, D. Block vs. G-Unit and most notably Nas vs. Jay-Z), but about a handful that ended tragically. The Pac/Biggie beef most readily comes to mind, but battling is something that true rap fans enjoy not only because it allows them confirm the validity and street credibility of their favorite artists, it also allows for good music to enjoy. Therefore, thanks to a constant competing environment (every rapper is the best dead or alive), there’s hardly a time in the culture with a lack of active competition.

Hip Hop, as we all know (or should know) has a far reaching influence, and Nigeria has not escaped the clutches of this culture. Hip Hop is so powerful that even acts who do not know or have any idea of what genre their music falls into hide under the Hip Hop umbrella (D’Banj, 9ice, Tuface, Sid/D’Prince of Mo’ Hits to name a few), and of course there’s hardly a place on this planet where emcees/rappers can co-exist peacefully. Too many egos at play, too many so-called reputations to protect. As so therefore, here comes the battle thing again.

Quite a number of battles tracks/diss records/beefs have also been recorded in the Hip Hop community in Nigeria. From arguably the most popular of all time; the Ruggedman track, Ehen featuring Nomoreloss which had Rugged going against a third of the Nigerian music industry and the most popular artists of that time, to Big Bros that had the same Ruggedman going at Kenny & D1 who were like the Diddys of music in Nigeria; to lesser known ones like For Free, a scathing record from the Kalifate going at Freestyle for selling a beat to two different artists; the Kalifate & Too Short; from Iceberg Slim going at M.I to Ghetto P going at Mode9 to Mode’s (unconfirmed) response; Warning…and the list goes on.

One of the most disappointing has to be the battle/beef between Mode9 and Ruggedman. It was disappointing in that fans were hoping to at least get some great music from two of rap’s vanguard in Nigeria but alas; only one side of the verbal war passed muster. With scathing tracks like ‘Talking to You’, ‘Deathblow’ parts 1 & 2; it was pretty clear who the winner was. There was an attempt by the opposite to respond, but it was a lame one in that in a battle, no one scores points by bragging about being richer. You might talk about selling more records, but that (if mentioned at all) is usually to prove that you have more credibility than the other guy. Check Jay-Z’s Takeover. So the ‘Banging’ track sailed over heads; core Hip Hop fans and mere listeners alike. But before long, one of the contesters would be involved in a more famous battle of words.

It probably began a long time before now, with an undercurrent of veiled threats and subtle disparaging, but what the general public knows is this: on 9ice’s third album there is track titled ‘Once Bitten, Twice Shy’ on which the Alapomeji boss sings about a trifling partner. Before long, the rumors started flying around that said song was about Toni Payne; 9ice’s then-wife & mother of his son, Zion. Before the album dropped, to further attach credence to the infidelity rumors, 9ice and Toni walked the oft-tread path of separation. That was the spark that was needed to ignite the entire forest.

I cannot say categorically when or how Ruggedman (real name Michael Ugochukwu Stephens) came to be involved in it, but the gist started doing the rounds that the ‘friend’ 9ice had mentioned on the above track was Ruggedy. And then, the entire thing moved to Facebook where, via status updates Toni allegedly insulted her estranged hubby repeatedly and Rugged asked 9ice to say something to clear the air, urging him to think about his son and such and such. Apparently, not too encouraged by 9ice’s silence, he placed a phone call to 9ice and asked him to call a press conference to clarify who exactly the ‘mysterious friend’ was, despite the latter’s reportedly repeated stating that the song was not about him (Rugged). This obviously was not enough for the man, whose persistence at asking 9ice to clear his name had begun to raise eyebrows.

Things apparently came to a head when Ruggedman, probably feeling burdened (for a very unclear reason) decided to release what was supposed to be a phone conversation between friends to the press, probably to clear his name. Unconfirmed rumors (given credence by the fact that 9ice had not spoken in public against Rugged before then) say that was the move that ticked 9ice off, and the man born Abolore Akande, true Hip Hop style (note; 9ice is Hip Hop as in culture wise but does NOT do Hip Hop music which is rap) took to wax to air out his aggression via Seriki; a professional beginner in popular rap circles on ‘Talk I Am Listening’, a two minutes ten seconds long track.

Things were tense, because on the above track 9ice had bragged about releasing the full version of the track on Ruggedman’s birthday; September 20 (the track had hit the internet a week before) and people wanted to know what the baba would do. Would he take this lying down? If so, it would be another nail in his coffin; 9ice being the hammer, Seriki being the nail.

And then, roughly two weeks later the Ruggedman camp responded via a young cat named Chinaydu on a track called ‘9ice the Ingrate’, a four-minute sixteen seconds long track containing a lot of verbal venom (note: I said verbal not lyrical). The airwaves began buzzing again; what would the self-styled Bashorun Gaa do next? But, even as the issue was being thrown back and forth, there was a subtle undercurrent of feeling; a deeper discussion going on. Now that the first round is over; shots had been fired by both camps, points were supposed to be awarded. Who is leading so far?


To be continued next week