I just like to wonder and ask myself; when my time comes and I die quietly in my sleep, would anyone notice?
I mean, I wonder who exactly on this planet called earth I'm important to. I wonder who really does care about me/who I really care about.
I know some truths about myself; some uncomfortable things that I know would make the same people who tell me they love me daily run for the hills.
I'm not uncomfortable with said truths. Far from it...they are mine. I'm good with them. I just know that they (people) would be.
And you know what the funniest part is?
The same people who I know would be uncomfortable with my truths have theirs too. In a lot of cases - a lot worse than mine.
So what are we talking about? I think life would be more interesting if we could all be real for a moment. Be honest with ourselves. But that's not gonna happen. So I don't care.
What I'm talking about is this: It's the ones you say you love you hurt the most and vice versa - simply because you've let them in and put them somewhere you have not allowed anyone else be. So automatically, because you hold them there you expect them to hold you dear. But we forget that we choose who we love. WE CANNOT CHOOSE THE ONES WHO LOVE US.
Unfortunate but true.
So why am I rambling? I just believe that sometimes; or rather ALL the time truth is better. Because more often that not; people have no idea what they mean when they say all the stuff they say. And I think that's really sad.
A 'I hate you' does me more good than a confused 'I love you'...because I understand clearly what 'I hate you' means or might mean; and I also want to believe that whoever tells you they hate you know what they're saying. 'Love' on the other hand has been so abused that I'm sure even the words themselves have no idea what they mean. I mean.
Now don't get it confused; I'm fully aware that in the midst of all the lies and confusion and stuff there are some few and rare people who really and genuinely care for you; just like I genuinely care for some people - what I need you to understand is...those people won't tell you they love you all the time. In fact, they might never say it to you.
They would just allow their actions speak for them, because they know too that words are...
I'm just rambling.
In case y'all missed that memo - I have become a published author. That's right!
In the published Naija Stories Anthology - me and twenty nine other talented writers massage your palate with incredibly edible stories of Nigeria as we see it. Read the official press release below:
NAIJA STORIES is the leading community for Nigerian writers and book lovers, combining elements of a writing critique website and a social networking site. I came across this community of Nigerian writers early this year and I am delighted to say that the stories and articles published on this site has imparted knowledge and improved my vocabulary and writing skills. When i decided to start a blog, i knew i loved to write and wanted to motivate people with my articles which is going on pretty well; but since I became a member of this community, writing has never been more fun and more interesting. It's like you have a team and family where you belong and have people review your work and help you improve everyday.
Of Tears and Kisses, Heroes and Villains is Volume 1 of the ‘Best of NaijaStories’ series. The 30 stories featured in this anthology were all originally published on naijastories.com between March 2010 and March 2011. This is a book you will love to have as a Nigerian because it features our everyday life, precepts fom our environment, culture, government and everything you can think of about Naija.
Copy and paste the link to find out more: http://www.naijastories.com/2012/03/the-naijastories-anthology-goes-on-sale-launches-march-27/
If you live in Nigeria and want the book delivered in PDF to your inbox, please contact admin@naijastories.com for payment details (via Zenith Bank and GTBank).
REVIEWS - READ what people have to say about this book
These are stories about us or about our neighbours or something we’ve encountered in the news. They are what our friends tell us, their pain and joy, their passion and rage, their yearning and their cry against injustice. I enjoyed lots of the stories not just because of their simplicity and brevity but also for freshness they bring to storytelling and public discourse. – Sylva Nze Ifedigbo. (Author, The Funeral Did Not End)
Here we are, with our abortions, our bereavement, our lust, our petty showdowns, our pederasts, our In-Law wahala, our problems chatting up girls in the diaspora, our memories of childhood, our fights, our incest, our love, our examination stress, our metafictional accounts, our encounters with university campus cults, our broken families, our… well, you get the idea. We rob banks, but we also eat salty beans to show our children we love them. – Tade Thompson (Writer/Editor)
These short stories are not constrained by the need to attain fame. They all are, first of all, good works written with sharp perspectives that are related to various societal issues. There is a unique allure in every story. They have not been sifted through a Western colander. Support this anthology and show that there is a worthiness of effort in putting it together. This anthology is indeed the birth of writers that have newly been empowered. Go get a copy for yourself. – Joseph Omotayo (Blogger/Book Critic)
Please get your copies and send your reviews!
We're Moving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
