But better late than never...right?
Amy Winehouse died on my birthday. Yep. That's right.
July 23rd.
Cause of death was inconclusive...that is; till a few minutes/hours ago.
According to YahooNews...she died of alcohol poisoning. They said her body contained five times...or read the more accurate quote " the level in her blood put her more than five times over the legal drunk-driving limit".
Now I was a fan of her music...but not a fan of the fact that she flaunted the fact that she was an addict in some very strong senses of the word. Now a lot of people are going to go ballistic on me for what I just said...but I really don't give a hoot..BECAUSE I'm not here to make friends. I'm here to share my opinions. That's why it's MY BLOG. You don't have to like it. Go and write yours.
Now typically, the day she died, a lot of people got emotional and angry and judgemental. Fine, it's wrong to judge. NOBODY has the right to judge another person...not EVEN the people who are names as judges. You don't have the right. Pure and simple. Are you any better?
But I also believe in reality. And reality, in AMy's case was: she was an addict. And she was proud of it. You don't have to believe me. Just listen to that 'hit' single Rehab. and the come back and share what you learnt.
We all have demons. But the thing that annoys me about a lot of us is that in the bid of trying to justify our bullshit we come up with that phrase Tuface made popular 'Nobody Holy Pass'. SHUT THE FUCK UP.
Pardon my french.
This is what I'm saying. The fact that you/we shouldn't judge does not mean we should not call a spade a spade. Just because you steal and I'm a porn addict does not mean I'm better than you...neither does it mean stealing is more heinous a crime than being addicted to porn..so why glorify it???
That phrase 'Nobody Holy Pass' annoys the shit out of me...because I've seen a lot of people keep quiet over stuff they know to be wrong because of it. My opinion. I drink raw spirits...I like drinking raw spirits...but I KNOW It's not good for me, and so therefore I'm fighting a winning war to stop. But in the meantime...should I keep quiet about it?
I love Amy Winehouse. I miss her. I think she was beautiful...in mind and body. Her voice was a honest and sincere one...and I have been a fan since I heard rehab...NOT because I particularly care about the song, but it was the singing that did it for me. And of course, It does not hurt that she shares birthdays with my favorite rapper (a little trivia for y'all!).
I miss her...and I hope she finds peace in death.
it's easier for me to be depressed than happy. Sad but true.
A lot of the decisions I made in the past come back to haunt me around this time of the year. It also doesn't help that whatever happened to her happened around now.
But all that is another story. The one I want to tell now is my search for peace.
Life sucks...in the worst of ways. That's true.
Life is a beautiful experience. That's true too.
A lot of times...most of the worst times/experiences in my life are based on or around people. The kind of people I choose to surround myself with.
They always said 'show me your friends and i'll tell you who you are"..and this true to some extent. What they forget to take into consideration is...what about a man without friends?
They also say not to expect so much of people...that eventually you'll just be saddened. But how do you really and truly love someone and not expect so much of them?
'To he whom much is giving, much is expected' that's true too!
Do you see my dilemma?
It would seem as though life is full of contradictions and so on. It would seem as though everything John Milton said about God in that movie 'The Devil's Advocate' was true. But as someone once thought me to think...
"believe that...and you'll believe ANYTHING. I think so too.
Love hurts. Unrequited love is the most painful torment a heart can go through...I think.
And when then receptacle of those emotions doesn't even notice you...or even know you exist...or doesn't care about you one way or the other...
That's the 'fate worse than death' I hear tell of.
How do you heal?
Not the easiest thing I tell you.
But...it has to be done.
So to you...my ex-sweet(s)...I'm moving on. It does hurt; because we shared something I'm sure I cannot find with any other person (there's only one you after all)...but I have to go or I'll die. Seriously.
Don't get it twisted though...I'll always cherish does memories. Always. And maybe when we run into each other at a party...a show...on tv...we'll smile and hug...each ask how the other's doing. And then go our separate ways because you came with your crew and I came with mine.
Ah. Don't even show the new guy off to me. I'm not sure I can handle that yet. But if you have to...do it gently, okay? Whatever else you think I am...I'm human first.
.....yeah.
I won't look back this time. I promise.
No matter what. This time, God helping me...it's for keeps. For real.
Holla.
Things don' change.
That's the name of a track submitted to me by a Nigerian artist for review and polishing. I felt flattered...but that's not what this is about.
I just thought it...well, interesting that just after this great country of ours became 51years old...it's still as developed as a nine year old. It's just...well..
Inspiring.
Some writer wrote a piece on Lagos state..about how we live fake lives and are too concerned about appearances and not what really counts.How it's easier than it looks to bring a spa to Nigeria..and harder than it looks to build a transformer; how there are tons of cars but the roads are something else; how we all use the latest phones but don't have access to 24hr electricity. Or words to that effect.
Well. I know it is stale news and what not...but honestly it saddens and depresses me when it seems as though someone has to come from somewhere and paint a morbid picture of our reality for us. I know..my people are pretty absorbent, they have to move on else lose their minds in this insanity of a life...but for HOW LONG?! That is the question.
Will things ever change? That...is yet another one.
I don't know. But I do know this: till we get tired of things, they have NO reason to change. That's a fact. I should be one to talk. What am I doing about it?!
Shebi I don blog now. That's something. And I'm telling that artist that his work is the best I've heard in a while. That he should keep going; he'll get there.
The NY Times reporter ended by telling a story about a visit he paid to a Nigerian beach and a man approached them to ask for payment..as though the beach was his; not nigeria's.
Well, I think it's time to take our beach back.
At least I wrote this. What are you going to do?
